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Tourist Yes, you will find I spelt 'History', 'Hostory' - But I've already saved it as a jpeg and am not going to edit it again!
She Makes Me Wanna Die Again, just the song I'm listening to. Anyway, I went onto the shop just now, and quite frankly I surprised myself. As I've said in the past in many a blog I'm sure: fat people choose to be fat. I guess carrying those extra pounds (to put it mildly) has been worth it for me! Those lovely pastas rich in olive oil and cheese, the fatty chourico, the olives - oh my god the olives! The Portuguese bread covered in Cornish butter, the puff pastry, the delicious pasties from The Cornwall Pasty Co. in Windsor and the evil Lindt chocolate have been worth compromising my squash game, the odd joke between friends and ocassionally not getting the girl. But I noticed since I started working again, I'm lacking the energy I once had in abundance, and that, I can't stand for. Bar today I seem to get pretty tired after a perfectly normal 7 hour day. I daren't step on the scales and and am beginning to lose hope of getting on a wake board this summer. So, ~O, I'll take your bet. I'll cut down on eating all those evil, harmfull, malnourishing, fattening and absolutely delicious foods. I'll replace the Lindt with oranges, the pasties with bananas, the Sprite with water and the pasta with, erm, well, I'll eat less pasta! I am going to up my squash game hopefully to at the very least two sessions a week if I can talk Dan into it. I am going to do the breathing exercises I described in my 'How To Be Perfect' post and I'm going to walk or jog a lot more than I usually do. I also want to up my online poker game. If I can be a winning player live, I don't see why I can't be online. Nearly everyone I talk to about poker is a weaker player than I am.
Train Strike If you think I'm a sweet little boy who never makes fun of a serious situation, please don't read the below post. On Saturday, my train to London was cancelled owing to someone being struck at Ealing Broadway. While this in itself is tragic and lamentable, I couldn't help but make fun of this horrific event in a series of text messages to my Brother whilst at work today: At 13:34 I wrote:
At 13:36 my brother wrote:
At 13:43 I wrote:
At 13:45 my brother wrote:
At 13:55 I wrote:
At 14:15 my brother wrote:
At 14:46 I wrote:
At 15:25 I wrote:
Bebop Vulgarities
'Nazi Gets Grenade up Ass', 'Noob Blows Commander in Woods' or 'Ghost Shoots Guy's Brains All Over Windshield of Car' (to make up a few) might be some YouTube titles you expect to read the above comments under, but 'Bebop Jazz Improvisation'? Wow! Well, at least it's good to know that the ignorant, narrow-minded and vulgar YouTube idiots who habitually trawl through countless video comments searching for a vulnerable user to attack are developing a sense of culture!
Looking Down on Haiti?
I won't ask what the difference is between The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster and, oh I don't know, Islam, Christianity etc, because, well, they're obvious. They are equally as valid in regard to their plausibility, but of course the more well known religions are grossly outdated in regard to, say Pastafarianism, for example. They were thought up before we had even conceived the tools which safely allow us to rule them out all together nowadays (unlike Pastafarianism, and less importantly Scientology, Mormonism, Amish, etc...). This should tell us that by claiming God is testing the helpless victims of such natural disasters from a Christian point of view, is at least as disrespectful as doing so from a Pastafarian point of view. But lots of people genuinely believe in Christianity you say? Well that's great - lot's of people believe in other outdated, idiotic concepts like white supremacy too, but they've learnt to keep it to themselves.
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I
have no patience for the idiots who insist God is testing people
by subjecting them to natural disasters. Imagine if Harrison Ford
was interviewed and asked about the situation in Haiti, the interviewer
phrased the question in such a way as to remind the listeners or
viewers of the thousands of deaths, the suffering, the effects it
is going to have on some people for the rest of their lives and
the impact it will have on the economy, and Harrison Ford said it's
the Flying Spaghetti Monster testing people. How do you think the
rest of the world would react? People would accuse Harrison Ford
of being a callous, insensitive, perverted and twisted individual
with no respect for the victims of such an appalling disaster.